What Is Happening With Parents in Romania

What Is Happening with Parents in Romania?

Not once, but several times during my recent visit to my homeland, Romania, I witnessed major public tantrums from children around seven or eight years old.

The tantrums themselves wouldn’t have been a big deal if the parents had handled them swiftly and effectively. Instead, despite the tough upbringing many of us experienced, these parents appeared helpless and hopeless in the face of these little monsters. One might expect that growing up in a communist country would have taught them at least a few effective methods to enforce rules and motivate a child to follow directions. However, that was not the case. In fact, it was quite the opposite, and honestly, it was difficult to watch.

Then I asked myself, “What’s going on here?”

Most of the children appeared frail, fragile, and almost weak—completely unlike how their parents looked at the same age.

In both situations I witnessed, the parents were figuratively doing cartwheels around their rebellious children, practically begging them to stop and cooperate. Naturally, that approach failed. The situations escalated into full-blown meltdowns, with panicked parents desperately searching for solutions. After several agonizing minutes of visible struggle, both families ended up leaving the restaurant halfway through their meals.

Then it occurred to me.

Like me, most Romanians had strict parents and very few choices, if any, while growing up. We were often left to figure out life and our emotions on our own. Similarly, many of us grew up longing for love, validation, and affection, all while carrying a wounded, often lonely inner child.

However, that does not mean everything our parents did was wrong.

Not every parenting method they used was outdated, and not everything we experienced during childhood was harmful.

At the risk of receiving some backlash, I believe that many parents today—especially in Romania—are trying so hard to be their children’s friends that they are also seeking the love and validation they never received from their own parents. As a result, they tolerate behavior that should never be acceptable, mistaking it for healthy emotional expression.

It’s almost as if they are saying:

“Let’s first understand how they feel before deciding whether to allow the behavior. If ruining my dinner is how you express your feelings, then so be it—because expressing your feelings is important. After all, I wasn’t allowed to do that when I was a child.”

Watching these meltdowns unfold in completely unrelated situations was fascinating because the patterns were nearly identical. The parents seemed almost guilty for even attempting to manage the situation, let alone for setting boundaries or enforcing consequences.

I genuinely felt sorry for the parents.

At the same time, I couldn’t help but worry about the future. These children will eventually grow up, vote, and help shape the society in which we all live.

When I reflect on my childhood, I don’t always agree with how I was treated. There are things I wish had been different. However, when I consider the person I have become, I realize that not everything my parents did was wrong.

Yes, I could have used more love, understanding, and emotional support.

If I take the discipline, accountability, and swift consequences I experienced as a child and combine them with greaterlove, empathy, and understanding, I believe that creates a much better recipe for raising strong, responsible human beings.

Healthy boundaries, consistently enforced and combined with love and genuine care, create the foundation for strong families and successful relationships.

Of course, all of this should be taken with a grain of salt; these are simply my observations.

God bless, and best of luck to all of us.

Thank you.