“I’ve been told that I’m a thinker, and I suppose I am.
I often find myself reflecting on my communist upbringing, the good ol’ days, and the world we live in today. What did we have compared to what kids have today? How did my childhood differ from that of my children? And suddenly, a light bulb went on.
Please bear with me here.
Everyone seems to be talking about what they went through growing up as if it
were inherently negative—something to be avoided at all costs, especially when raising their own children. Experiences that once taught us valuable life lessons are increasingly being labeled as “toxic,” “traumatic,” or simply negative.
I understand some of it. No child should be subjected to abuse, neglect, or unnecessary physical or emotional harm. There are things from previous generations that absolutely should not be repeated.
But have we gone too far in the opposite direction?
Sometimes, it feels as though any stressor, hardship, discomfort, disappointment, or challenge must be immediately eliminated from our children’s lives.
But if we remove every obstacle, where will the lessons come from?
What are our children supposed to learn if we all become professional parents, constantly anticipating every problem and removing obstacles before they have a chance to face them?
We appear to be living in an era where protecting our children from all potential dangers has become a top priority.
Consider something as simple as the water bottle trend. Our children rarely get the chance to feel thirsty. They seldomhave enough time to become hungry. We anticipate their needs before they even experience them.
They certainly seem to have fewer opportunities to fall, get hurt, figure things out, get lost, lose, fail, or simply feeluncomfortable.
Of course, I am not suggesting that we deprive our children of food or water. That is not the point.
The point is this:
How will they learn to tolerate discomfort if they rarely experience it?
How will they learn to solve problems if we solve every problem for them?
How will they learn to recover from failure if we constantly shield them from it?
How will they become strong if strength is never required?
And here’s the question that really bothers me:
What are we raising today that will protect us tomorrow?
Our children are meant to surpass us. They should become stronger, wiser, more capable, and better prepared than the generation before them. However, preparing children for life does not mean eliminating all challenges from their experience. Isn’t life beautiful precisely because it contains all of it?
The good and the bad. Winning and losing. Strength and weakness. Joy and pain. Success and disappointment. The fortunate and the less fortunate. That’s life on planet Earth.
If we eliminate every encounter with the “bad and the ugly,” how are we truly preparing our children for a world wherethe bad and the ugly still exist? I don’t believe we should intentionally make life difficult for our children. However, I also believe we should not make it artificially easy. Our job is not to remove every obstacle from the road.
Perhaps our role is to provide our children with the strength, judgment, courage, and confidence they need to faceobstacles on their own. Because someday, we won’t be there to carry the water bottle.
Someday, they will have to carry us.
If we expect the next generation to defend freedom, build the future, protect the vulnerable, and shoulder responsibilities greater than our own, then we must allow them to become strong enough to do so.